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Boyfriend Problems

Tips On Dealing With Boyfriend Problems

Many teenage girls today are struggling with boyfriend problems in a whole new way.  The boyfriend problems often stem from something very silly, but the young lady may take it to heart and make it very personal.  The challenge with teenagers is that what they feel is very real to them, but they aren’t mature enough yet to process it. 

Young girls talk about boyfriend problems like they change clothes.  They just want someone to like them for who they are, and many would do anything for love especially if they are coming from a broken home.  The teenage girl wants someone to adore her, to notice her, to pay attention to her and make her the focal point of his life, and when the boyfriend doesn’t respond in that way it causes problems. 

Teenage boys are less interested in having a relationship although they like the idea of having a girlfriend or they feel respected by their peers for having a girlfriend.  However, teenage guys are more interested in playing sports, going to see a pro football game, and oftentimes to see how many girls they can have sex with.  The teenage girl wants to date and creates a romantic vision of what she is looking for in hopes that it will come true.  She longs for a knight to come riding in on a white horse and rescue her from herself, but the boyfriend really wants to ride in on a Porsche and imagine that he now plays pro football for the Pittsburgh Steelers or Cincinnati Bengals. 

This is what the boyfriend problems are made up of, and they can certainly create a bigger issue when no one seems to understand what this young lady is saying.  Teenage girls feel frustrated and trapped by the contest of beauty, believing that the only girl who ever gets picked for prom or the latest dance is one that looks like a model and dresses sexy.  The media has painted this picture for young women across the world, and has distorted our minds with an array of people pleasing tactics.  While many kids grow up just wanting to please their parents, for the teenage girl that can translate into wanting to please her boyfriend.

Having a boyfriend can be fun when two teenagers want to go to a football game, go out for pizza, or even go to the prom and dance the night away. Problems begin when other issues surface in the teenagers life that possibly stem from family related issues.  For example, most psychologists say that young women will identify their boyfriend with their father.  When their father has been absent or has ignored them the young lady may unknowingly put that responsibility onto the new guy in her life.  She may not realize it, but that is what is happening.  It’s an emotional transfer of responsibility that this young man can’t even be responsible for because he isn’t old enough to comprehend it.  He has no clue what is going on in the young girls mind, and begins to see her as desperate or bothersome and immediately shies away and tries to disconnect himself from her in every way possible.  For the young woman, this means boyfriend problems. 

In the young woman’s mind, her boyfriend is now being a jerk and insensitive to her.  She wonders if he is dating someone else behind her back, or now if they have a date for the prom.  The young woman who was once somebody's girlfriend now may find herself feeling like a nobody.  The boyfriend is now looked at by others with the same disgust, when all the while this young woman was just struggling with something that had nothing to do with him.


 


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